About Me

Sex: Male 

Age: In-between 5-5000yrs (I seem to remember history so well, I wonder if I was actually there, ergo I might be immortal. If I die, I was wrong, you'll tell me, huh?

Intelligence: I would say more intelligent than a monkey, but as I did not see the monkey's test paper, it might be him? 

Religion: If God created me in his image, I think it's polite NOT go to church & rub it in his face.

Hobbies: Are apparently something you do to relieve boredom. I am generally only bored at work doing something I dislike. I have found employers unappreciative when you leave the office to go fly a kite.

Interests: literally everything except TV soaps which have de-evolved to appeal only to inanimate objects like wallpaper.

Humour: Anything I find funny

Favourite food: anything I enjoy, definitely not the ones that make me throw up or are disgusting.

Things I hate: Anything I really dislike.

Favourite Planet: Only been to this one so not experienced enough to answer that. From a gag point though, Uranus (British Pronunciation (YOUR ANUS)), ergo:

Where did all this crap come from? Uranus! 

That's a relly good tan, where did you go to get so brown? Uranus! (note, it's only sunny on the poles and minus 200 degrees celcius, so it's like a ski-holiday tan)

And of course, there are classic ones like, you are taking a midnight stroll with your wife or girlfriend and you say "wow! doesn't your Anus look big tonight" and she's like "what?" and you say, up there, the bright blue one (make sure you can see the stars of course and point to anything, even Venus, she won't know!)